When should the female pick up the tab?

Dear Readers,

In this modern day and age alot of women have taken on the role of the independent woman and wear their Shera cape proudly as she flys from place to place handling things such as motherhood, being the ultimate wife, and even the boss in the office, however there are still so many single women out there who can't seem to find a good man and it isn't that there aren't any good men out there, perhaps they are putting out the wrong vibes and simply attracting the wrong men?.... Anyway with the topic of the independent woman in mind and dating I am wondering what the masses think on the female picking up the tab during the courting stages of relationships and dating.

My ideals on the subject are that there are some who suggest that it becomes a woman’s duty to pay at or around the third date or atleast offer to pick up the tip. I couldn’t disagree more. I'd like to think that most men would take the chivalrous approach when it comes to dating, and as a result, pay for a large majority of all dating activities BUT there does come a time when the financial load should be shared. I tend to think that whomever extends the date invitation should offer to pay at the very least. It just makes sense to me. When you are dating, for starters, you want to give off a great impression so you can’t ask him to join you for lunch and then be upset if he doesn’t cover the entire tab because it was your idea right? Now if he does offer, then great, but you can’t walk into the date having that expectation. Also, remember you are the independent woman right so especially if you swooped down on him in your Shera cape wearing that fly business suit and driving your luxury car to extned him your business card and ask him on a date as if it were a business transaction then you shouldn't be up in arms if he expects you to take out the AMEX and pay for the meal.

In my opinion, the ideal dating scenario consists of both sides working together to make things work for you, so if you are a woman that wants to be wined and dined then don't go offering to pick up the tab all the time and complain that he is lazy and cheap. Also, if you’re dating someone, and you really want it to thrive, then you shouldn’t have a problem occasionally putting your money where your mouth is.

On the flip side, ALOT of men need to just relax and get over the macho sense of self thinking they need to pay for everything in order to be in control because although money makes the world go round it may not be that way when governing the rules in your household or relationships.

Just my thoughts

Do Friends REALLY Make the Best LOVERS?...

I would like to speak to the person who coined the old saying, "friends make the best lovers" lol. I know that I have male friends, and they are my "friends" for a reason...I just dont see them in that light. And I know this goes vice versa as well. Ive had male friends who I might have looked at as more than a friend, but I still found them keeping me in the friend zone, lol, which is quite alright because I wouldnt want to be with someone who didnt see me in the same light as I saw them. So when do friends stop looking at each other as such and start seeing something more? How does this come about? Im just curious thats all...
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I know couples who proclaim that their other half is their best friend, but Im sure that happened as the relationship developed (even though thats a whole other topic, dont get me started, lol). But if you've known someone for a while...you've hung out with them, they know some of your inner most secrets, and their one of the closest people you have in your life, how do you all of a sudden turn off the friendship switch and turn on the sex switch? Im sure that developing a love relationship with someone who you consider a good friend must be wonderful. But as I sit and think about the true male friends that I have....I dont think that I could ever view them in that light. Now granted, they are all attractive, good men, who have something going for them in way or another, but I dont ever see myself as looking at them as any more than that. And as a female friend of mine just said (Karla Barla:), "wouldnt it have happened already if it were to happen"? How can friends make the best lovers when some people dont even believe that men and woman can be JUST friends in the first place??...

...any thoughts out there?

~J. Genese

Why Him? Why Her? Relationships/Dating

Last night while watching 20/20 I was faced with the ever daunting question Why Him? Why Her? I guess it's simple enough to say that once one reaches a certain age they come to believe that life's greatest gift is finding their perfect mate. Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher thinks she's found the answer! She believes that there are two parts of the personality: character and temperament. Character of course is comprised of things you've developed over the course of life experience and temperament is your inherited traits. There are 4 types of temperaments: Explorers (risk takers), Builders (cautious but not fearful), Directors (analytical) and Negotiators (broadminded imaginative). The show followed four couples over the course of their dating which started at a speed dating event in New York. Not surpsingly, only two of the four couples ended up in a long term relationship; one resulting in marriage.
I guess what I take away from watching a special like this is "Why does dating have to be so damn complicated?" What happened to the bilssful days of catching someone's eye, don't those chemical reactions from pheremones play a huge part in attraction anymore or have we chalked it all up to your potential mates balance on their ATM receipt or the famous Capital One quote "What's in your wallet?" or perhaps something more obvious like that S type he's driving. As I steadily approach my 30's, taking baby steps mind you lol, I continue to wonder keeping in mind that our divorce rate is now over 50%; what actually makes up a long lasting and happy marriage. Why Him? Why Her? But most importantly when will I meet my other half???